Absent friend

(or why you bother to stop in Trowbridge to catch up with old friends over a bottle or two of rouge)

You had a phone call from P then?
Yes. Didn’t you?
No
She said she was going to phone you. She wasn’t sure where you lived. Thought you’d moved to Melksham. I told her you had but had moved back about 8 years ago.
She must know where we are. We got a Christmas card from her. Has she got a boyfriend?
No. No-one since Charlie.
Who was Charlie?
He was the hockey player.
What happened to Mick?
Mick was her husband.
Was he the one who died?
Did he?
He had one leg.
He had two legs the last time I saw him. And I don’t think he’s dead.
Didn’t he have congenital heart disease?
Who?
The bloke with one leg. He was a Romany.
Who told you that?
Morrie. He used to go up for the Gold Cup.
Who? The bloke with one leg?
Yes.
No. It was Morrie who went up for the races. So what was the bloke with one leg called?
Mick
No. Mick was her husband. He went off to Norwich with his cousin
Yes, but the Romany with one leg was called Mick too.
She didn’t have two boyfriends called Mick
No. One was called Michael. But they called him Mick
When did she meet him then?
Well, when Mick left her she came back down here and met Mick. He went back with her. They used to play darts
She’s always played darts but I don’t remember a bloke with one leg. I saw her when you had that thing with your throat.
That wasn’t here
Yes it was because we’d gone to Melksham by mistake. We forgot you’d moved.
That wasn’t here
Yes it was because you couldn’t come. Anyway, she wasn’t with anyone then
That’s because he was dead
Who?
The Romany with one leg
No. I think it was Chris who died
Who’s Chris?
The bloke that died
I’m sure that was Mick
What did he die from?
Congenital heart disease
Was she still with him?
When?
When he died
Who?
The bloke with congenital heart disease
I don’t think so. She was with Charlie then
No. His name was Mick
No. Mick was that funny one
Which Mick?
The one she married
That was a bloody awful wedding
That was the worse wedding I’ve ever been to. They were still in the Stallards five minutes before the vows were exchanged
We went to Tadpole’s to try to get away from them
They followed us
He made a pass at me
Who?
Mick
Which Mick?
The one with two legs
We’re going to be 60 next year. Shall we go somewhere?
Let’s go to Rome?