Cake with Caitlin

This was the weekend when ALL plans fell apart. Firstly, pig flu, which we had all thought was a nasty rumour, has kicked in over in the land of the land of the sheep resulting in Jack’s lift home being null and void. Disappointing to say the least but, as Dorset has largely been cut off from the wider world for the last twenty-four hours, probably just as well. There’s no way I’d have been contemplating that bridge if the weather up there was anything like the hurricane that we experienced yesterday! We even made item number two on the national news: a bunch of numpties failing to stand upright in Bournemouth. So no change there then.

Saturday, we were all due to go to Glastonbury carnival; I could barely get out of the front door to reach Tesco. On arrival at our local branch of Rulers of the World I found myself temporarily trapped in the car as stair-rods rained down and Dorothy flew past on her way to the Emerald City. Everyone…and I mean everyone…was there. Not a trolley to be had. Strangely, on emerging, the micro-climate had undergone transformation and the sun was shining brightly whilst chuckling to itself. Perhaps we could venture into Somerset after all? No chance. By the time I’d driven the mile home tornadoes were being recorded over in Kimmeridge so we made a new plan: a spot of Christmas shopping in town followed by a trip to the cinema. Wrong.

Something happened to Poole when I wasn’t looking. The High Street, which used to be full of interesting shops, now looks, I imagine, like a lot of other towns in this green and unpleasant land: ok if you like charity shops. Actually, I do but not that many. The upside of recession-hit Britain is that you can have an eat-all-you-want buffet at The Real China for £3.95. This has got to be the bargain of the year even if your six year old grand-daughter presumes it to mean eat all the prawn crackers you want. Have you ever tried, or even seen, someone eating prawn crackers with strawberry ice-cream? As for the cinema? Well, call me mean but £28 for two adults and two children to see the new cartoon version of A Christmas Carol wasn’t viable so that didn’t happen either.

All of a sudden it was Sunday. The sun was shining so a whole new day loomed. However, due to yet more illness, I was unexpectedly landed with the prawn cracker queen. We decided to go to the beach except, on arrival, the beach wasn’t there due to a ridiculously high tide. It didn’t matter; we had a splendid walk and talked to a considerable number of dogs before visiting the water-logged park where I was attacked by the biggest and most angry bee in the world. Then we went home and made a Christmas cake. Have you ever made a Christmas cake with a six-year old? It takes years; especially if you have those old fashioned scales with weights, and an even more old fashioned china mixing bowl and make the mistake of doing it on the dining room table where there’s more room. There’s no compromise: 'you have to get the balance exactly right Grandma'. ( I had just explained the concept of balance and that, in French, scales translates as 'balance'. 'So what's the word for balance in French Grandma?' ) And this bowl’s too hard Grandma. And why is all that brown sugar on the table and all those raisins on the floor Caitlin? And why did I buy you a sherbet dip? And why are you asleep on my settee when there’s all this cleaning and washing-up to be done?